“Resilience begins where I can breathe again”

“Many come with a stooped posture, tears in their eyes. And they leave with a smile,” reports Graml. The biggest relief is often not the method – but being understood: “Most of them tell me that no one has asked them how they feel for months or years.”

Elisabeth Graml knows from her own experience that family caregivers often lose themselves in their role. They are no longer perceived as a spouse, daughter or son – but only as the carer. “Many build up an incredible amount of inner pressure. Through the desire for perfectionism, feelings of guilt and the feeling of never being enough,” describes Graml. Accepting help is difficult for many of those affected because it is perceived as weakness.

How can inner strength be regained?

For Graml, resilience means changing one’s perspective: Carers should start to act again, not just react. No longer fighting against life, but going with it. Graml: “When I change my perspective on the situation, the environment often changes too – or at least my strength to deal with it.” And it’s also about making caregiving more sustainable and fulfilling for yourself.

“Resilience in the context of home care means developing the ability to remain mentally and emotionally stable despite the many stresses and challenges. It’s about activating resources to cope better with stress, overcome setbacks and maintain a positive outlook even in difficult situations,” explains the expert. After all, you can only provide long-term care if you remain healthy, balanced and resilient. If you neglect your own needs or disregard your own health, the risk of physical complaints and mental illnesses such as depression or burnout increases.

A silent crisis with loud consequences

A central problem in supporting family caregivers: Lack of information, lack of visibility of services. “What we need would be a simple, regional care information flyer for GPs. Because the GP is usually the first point of contact, and there should be an overview of advice centers, support groups and contact points.” Because many people simply don’t know that there is support for them.

In Graml’s opinion, there is not a lack of studies in the growing care crisis, but a lack of implementation: “The ‘care companion’ model was enshrined in law in Germany years ago. This is a trained person who provides mental support to relatives. But it was hardly ever implemented,” says Graml. Her vision: Former carers who go into families as real companions through targeted training. A system that creates relief – and prevents suffering.

Because one thing is clear to Graml: “The family caregivers of today are often the care recipients of tomorrow.” Many leave the caregiving period burnt out, ill and lonely. What do they really need? “Understanding. Listening. Rooms where people can breathe again. And better financial support and flexible care services to relieve the burden on family members,” says Elisabeth Graml, “And I would like society and politicians to show more recognition and appreciation for the work of family caregivers. Caring is often a huge emotional and physical challenge that takes place in secret. It would be important for their achievements to be publicly recognized and for them to be seen not just as helpers, but as important pillars of our healthcare system.”

Her message to family caregivers is clear: “What others say doesn’t count. Only that you are doing well. Get help. And don’t give up on yourself.”